Collaborative and Proactive Solutions (CPS) by Ross Greene and Collaborative Problem Solving by Stuart Ablon help kids and caregivers solve the problems that are causing challenging behaviors. The problem solving is collaborative (not unilateral) and proactive (not reactive). This approach helps us to understand that when kids are struggling, they are lacking skills.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuoPZkFcLVs
https://www.boostca.org/2019/03/04/complicated-kiddos-have-you-hitting-the-parenting-books/