I spend a lot of time talking with teens. I have 3 of my own, am a therapist for teens and coach high school swim. That is a lot of talking with teens. They give me a window into their world which I find delightful and hopeful. They are thoughtful, insightful and care deeply about the world. I enjoy listening to them and reflecting back to them that they are awesome, on the right track and to keep after what they find important.
We are speaking across a generational chasm. I rely on their patience and translating when I don’t get it. They do so without hesitation because they want me to understand and see that I am trying. A bit of lighthearted self-deprecation probably helps my cause. Most enjoy acting as my guide and bringing me up to speed. When they speak ‘teen’ to me, I see it as an invitation and a compliment, not an insult or disrespect.
And sometimes they call me bruh. I am a 50 year old woman. Clearly not what anyone envisions as their bruh.
I hear kids and teens ‘bruh’ their parents too. The results widely vary. Some parents, like me, roll with it. I like to sprinkle in a bit of bruh, with a touch of irony, and they humor me. Probably because they know I’m not trying to be cool. (you have to be fully ok with bruh or this will sound sarcastic)
Here is the thing, if you hear it as disrespect and respond with correction, you will 100% shut down the conversation. And I really don’t think you wanted or needed to.
It’s not that deep → does not mean anything bad or disrespectful
It means so many things!
Bruh- most often it means agreement;
Me; “guacamole is delicious”
Them; “bruh”
Translation- ‘yes mom, guacamole is so delicious you couldn’t be more correct!’
Bruh- disbelief
Me; “sorry darling, I already ate the leftover Thai food”
Them; “bruuuh”
Translation- ‘noooo! I wanted it’
Bruh – mom/attention getting
Me; “Ok, so this weekend we have a full schedule with the grands…”
Them; “bruh! bruh bruh bruh”
Translation – ‘mom! mom mom mom, wait, I have plans already.’
It is fair to remind them that grandma likely won’t get it and that it may not be a great choice for teachers or job interviews. That said, if you ask, I bet they already know that and are actively choosing how and when they use more casual language.
That’s it.
One more example of the benefits of hanging in with teens and taking as few things as possible personally; in service of your relationship and connection.
